Let Go...

I took a pretty big risk last week. I handed in my notice at a secure, part-time job for temping work in various different media and magazine environments in the hope to find myself “THE” career. I’ve only just moved up to London and found my current job highly unsatisfying and instead of doing what I usually do (MOAN), I decided to DO something about it. I was lucky to have a connection, a branch to which I’m hoping I can use to climb up to my dream industry. After having a meeting, I finally decided to go for it. Let go of my fears and take the plunge into unknown territory. I’m not falling into a safe, full-time job, I’m jumping into something a little less secure, but I don’t feel afraid. 

I realised when walking around London Victoria station while I waited for a train, that this was going to be the most selfish thing I have ever done in my whole life. But it was probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt. It wasn’t just me I had to consider. I had my boyfriend to think of who I am currently living with. The pressure is on but life is too short to constantly worry and fret about the “what ifs” of everything. (all those who know me will be thinking, “Ha, rich coming from her!”) I am a worrier. But I refuse to let it control my life and stay in a job which makes me miserable, just because I have bills to pay. I’m extremely lucky that I have the support of those around me who I love who at times gave their cautious opinions but in the end realised this was the best option for me. 

Michael Parkinson was the ambassador of my University and I always remember the last line of his speech at my graduation ceremony. 

"You’re at the threshold of life. Make the most of it."

So this is what I’m trying to do. 

The song choice for this particular blog post is taken from one of my favourite movies, Garden State. The final scene where Zach Braff’s character Andrew Largeman takes a risk himself and leaves his current responsibilities which made him sad and depressed for a new and enriching life with his love Sam (played by Natalie Portman). The lyrics which illuminate this moment are so poignant and what I use to remind myself that I’m making the right choice… A little reassurance never hurt anybody. In fact, I could do with some more of that from myself.

Imogen Heap really does have a point here:

"Drink up baby doll
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
'Cause it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy you’re writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like.

So, let go, let go

Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It’s all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown.”

Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown.